if dreams only came true

i had a dream last night that a customer gave me $1000 check as a tip. and a bunch of lottery tickets. it was awesome.

damnit

sometimes i feel that my ability to be extra friendly and extra comfortable around strangers is going to get me in severe trouble one day.

about a bee could become a bout of bees

may 19, 2009

2:30 pm: i leave my house to run around and do some errands. as i was unlocking my bike, i look up and see a gigantic bee about four feet away from me. he wasn't causing any trouble, but he was ridiculously big, so i obviously took note of him.

6:00 pm: return home from errands. no big deal

8:07 pm: got off phone with kristan and left my apartment. as i was locking the door, i noticed quite a large bug on the hallway wall about fifteen feet down. as i approached, i noticed it was none other than a big ass yellow jacket. i wasn't going to do anything about it. i figured it would just fly out the way it came in (we leave the front door to access our floor wide open since it's so bloody hot up here)

11:12 pm: i return home and i'm pushing my bike through the narrow hallway. i noticed that the bee was gone. i get to my door, and as i reach for the doorknob, i notice the bee. he was ON my doorknob. walking in circles around it. just around and around he went. i was in a predicament. i could either a) slap that bitch off the knob and risk getting stung because there is certainly nowhere to run in that narrow ass hallway. plus i had my bike and i could just abandon it. i'd probably just actually trip over it and get stung anyway. or i could b) use my thumb and my pointer finger to very gently open the door, without disturbing him, get my bike inside, and slowly close the door behind me, careful to watch the knob to make sure he didn't make it inside with me.

i chose b. and it worked. he didn't follow me in. i figured i had seen the last of him.

may 20, 2009
10:30 am: i crawled out of bed to go to the bathroom and lo and behold, that son of a bitch was crawling around on my floor.

i am still dumbstruck how he got in my house. i (ironically) had a yellow tulip skirt folded up on the floor where mr. bee decided to crawl under and hang out. i got a bowl and put it over him. i later took him outside and flung him away.

what all of this represents? i'm not quite sure. but seriously, i have no idea why this bee was after me.

i would say...

i would say that about 5/7 days of the week, i wish i lived somewhere else. the number steadily increases with each passing day that i feel i'm wasting my youth, my brain, and my camaraderie.

for the birds

i hate small talk. i know many people do. even talking to people who i haven't talked to in years.
"so, where are you working these days? oh i love that place! where are you living? the north end!? that's awesome. what's your major? oh you graduated? in what? social work? oh...."
.....crickets.....
no one ever knows what to say after i tell them i majored in social work. baby snatchers they think.

my favorite part is when someone comes up to you in a crowded room and starts talking to you. suddenly when the aforementioned conversation is over. they have no choice but to just stand there and awkwardly stare at you or look around the room to see what other people they could torment with their mindless musings, but then just still standing there anyway.
i honestly wonder how far the human race has made i this far when i think i'm a pretty social person, wants to put a paper bag over my head at the mere thought of these encounters. i think this might be why i haven't been home in two years.

i also think it's weird that some people have "dream cars" as if going fast is the only way to make their lives worth anything. we all know that you can see everything better when you're going slower. take a walk. buy a segway. no. don't buy a segway. what i CAN understand is people building cars. working on them and making them something that is a well-oiled sex machine. you know, it gets them the sex. but they definitely put work into it. it's more of a lifestyle. dream cars are a passing phase. i think chrysler and gm are learning this as well.

i'll tell you what i do like though: fro yo. it's back baby. yesterday i had blueberry/cheesecake fro yo with marshmallow and graham cracker toppings. yes please. it was delicious. and nonfat! (except for the buckets of sugar) but still! no fat! yes!

yes plz

i love this video.

really?!

yesterday, in a gray dress and blue tights, i caught two oreo cookies from a third story window with my umbrella that i had turned upside down. thanks chris and loren.
it was pretty magical.