penny for your thoughts?

if anyone has any confidence to spare, i could sure use some.

i hate nights where i feel like everyone is on a mission to get waaaassted, except for me. it's possibly the most lonely feeling on earth. i think people probably start drinking to avoid that same feeling as i had all night.

back to that confidence thing, really, there is nothing anyone can say or do, i've never felt worse about myself. it's the result of a collection of life experiences involving image. nothing but image. and i would like to have a good one of myself, and FOR myself.

i miss kristan. i can't even say it enough.

who wants to talk about me some more? anyone? anyone? no. shut up becky. you don't even want to hear about you anymore.
someone throw a brick through my window please.

oh, there it is.

that all-too-familiar sick and sour taste that seems to linger on my tongue.

ok dude

don't get me wrong, i love my apartment. i am forever grateful to kyra and anna for setting me up with this sweet gig. however, i have one minor complaint, that doesn't even involve the open window crashing shut in the middle of the night, sounding EXACTLY like someone was breaking in. that was actually pretty funny. my one complaint comes from the dude who lives below me. i don't typically hear my neighbors, except the girl next door to me, and that's only when she's in her kitchen. and it's no big deal. HOWEVER, every saturday or sunday morning, dude below me starts playing shitty old music extra loud. one day i was taking a nap and was actually singing along to the songs he was playing in my dreams. i shouldn't say all his music is shitty. one day he did actually play ratatat. but the downside? he played the same song about ten times in a row. today it's that old jimmy eat world song. i don't even know what it is called. that famous one that everyone loved FIVE YEARS AGO.

the worst part?
i can hear his crappy voice singing along to it. i am definitely for people liking music and enjoying it. i am also pro-understanding that you live in a shared building with people who might not appreciate you.

that is all.
as soon as my holgas come (that's right, they still aren't here, and i'm not going to CHEAT cool pictures like someone i know) i'm going to take me a trip to dan's ferry and see how many rolls i can waste. and see how many times i have to stop and cry because i miss kristan so bad.

who wants to go with me!?

oh haaaay

kristan, my bike, which now kinda matches your bike, awaits for your arrival.
someday.

today...

is going to be a very good day.

pfff.

this is stupid. i have soy sauce in my hair. it's raining. it has been all day. sometimes, very rarely, i wish i had made different choices in the past.
but now is one of those times.
so i plan on making really good, guilt and regret-free choices in the future.
be careful babies, be very careful with your little blood pumpers.